Thursday, May 19, 2005
According to my husband love is complicated.
He told me last night, "No one really understands love." I asked him if he did. He said he wasn't sure, then he said, "If someone came up to me and said that were going to shoot either you or me, I'd ask them if they were going to try to have sex with you, and if they said yes, I'd have them shoot you, and if they said no, I'd have them shoot me, for me that's love I think."
Yes Ryan, I think that must be the highest expression of love on the earth, yes, now why can't I ever find a Valentine's card that says that?
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
I know, another two post day, it's always all or nothing with me. Really though, this was just too blog worthy for me to not blog about. This is based on a phone conversation with my sister. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, keep in mind she is turning nineteen, and this was her approximately twenty minute response. I thought about just posting the birthday wish list and making everyone guess the sex/age of the person requesting these items for their birthday, as I'm sure most of you would have guessed somewhere in the neighborhood of a nine year old boy. So, without further ado, what my soon to be nineteen year old sister would like for her birthday:
1. A nice pair of brown flip-flops (so far so good, right)
2. A soccer ball.
3. A volley ball
4. A baseball bat
5. A baseball (My sister must be starting some kind of summer youth camp I don't know about.)
6. A sombrero
7. 2 intertubes
8. paddles (keep in mind a set of paddles she got for her birthday last year are still sitting at my house, I asked her about them, she said, oh you mean the broken ones? My thought was, then why have I been storing them here for you?)
9. A life jacket
10. Aviator Sunglasses
11. Enter the worship circle cds 2 and 3
12. A frisbee -regulation size.
13. A kickball (And you thought I was kidding about the summer youth camp.)
14. A black zip-up hoodie
15. A gorilla mask. (No, I'm not making that up, she also asked for a gorilla mask for Christmas, but didn't get one.)
16. Overnight hair curlers
17. A white skirt that is big and flowy but not full length
18. A new raft, (new because she got a raft last year for her birthday, she claims it is broken, I asked her if she' d just as soon have a repair kit for her raft, she said, well if someone wanted to fix her raft for her that would work.)
19. A set of small waterguns. (When I asked her what she meant by small she said, " like the size that would fit in your hand, or well a guys hand, because their hands are bigger."
20. old-school roller skates
21. A pretty dress to wear to my friend's wedding.
22. A trip to water world. (She clarified that I could not take her to water world because I am pregnant, thanks for the safety tip!)
23. Long hair. (Yeah, I know, I asked, she said, that she just sometimes throws in random things to her lists.)
24. Black sweat pants.
25. A book on tape sold at kinko's called something like "Get anyone to do anything you want." (If you know my sister this seems like a very dangerous thing for her to have, since for her birthday few years back she made people fall down stairs and give her their car for the day. I said, "So it's basically just a book about how to manipulate people?" and she said, "Yeah, I really want it.")
26. this is a direct quote "Maybe a cool picture of you and Ryan, maybe I could be in it, you could put it in a frame from the dollar store."
27. Black spandex spankies. (I had to ask what these were.)
28. A cool sleeping mat for camping.
After listing all of this she says, "Did I mention a kickball?" I told her yes, then she says, "Oh good, oh and did I mention old-school roller skates?" She also asked me if there were any other things I could think of "for the good of the group" I asked her what group she was referring to, and she didn't have any response for that. Hopefully it's a group of nine year old boys who can take turns wearing her gorilla mask and black spandex spankies while skating and participating in various outdoor sports.
I have decided that you should all vote on which of these random gifts I should get my sister for her birthday, I will take your votes, listed in my comments, into consideration while choosing a gift. Also, if you have any of these random things lying around your house and would like to donate them to my sisters birthday fund, let me know.
I have learned at least one thing about pregnancy: it does bizarre things to your sleeping patterns. I'm sure this must be God's way of preparing me to never have normal sleep patterns again. Yesterday I slept in until 11:15, it was beautiful. That used to be a daily occurrence for me, much to my husband's chagrin, ( http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=chagrin) but lately I'm typically awake between seven and nine a.m. with a few bouts of random wakings between four and six a.m. Today however, I woke up, completely unable to sleep, at 2:15. I was a little shocked when I looked at my watch, because I felt pretty rested and thought it must be around five or so.
Perhaps I became fully awake after spending five full minutes asking my husband to hand me my glasses which had by some fluke been set on his bedside table, instead of mine where they usually reside. You might think this was no big deal, but it's a pretty huge bed and trying to reach over him while I'm pregnant would have been quite a task at one in the morning. The abridged version of our conversation went something like this.
Me: Ryan will you hand me my glasses.
Ryan: Yeah
(Ryan does nothing)
Me: Ryan will you hand me my glasses.
Ryan: I am.
(Ryan does nothing.)
Me: Ryan will you please hand me my glasses.
Ryan: I heard you.
(Ryan reaches around in the air aimlessly)
Me: Baby, they're on the table next to you.
Ryan: (Clearly still 95% asleep) I just have to untie the phone first.
Me: No, I don't need the phone I just want my glasses.
Ryan: I heard you.
Me: Forget it.
Ryan: You try to get them, I can't.
Amy: Yes you can, they're right next to you.
I'm pretty sure at this point I stomped out of the room upset, Ryan sighing in utter frustration because he can't fathom my annoyance. After going to the bathroom, a new nightly occurrence since being pregnant, I come back in the room, and perhaps unfairly, wake Ryan up again, and say something about how if I can't even get him to hand me my glasses in the middle of the night, how on earth is he ever going to help me with a baby.
Ryan and I have had many such exchanges, my favorite was when I was trying to get somewhere early in the morning, my keys were lost and I finally tried to wake him up to have him help me look for them.
Me: Honey, I can't find my keys, I need your help.
Ryan: Just query them.
Me: Honey, it's not a computer program I'm trying to find my, nevermind.
So, since about an hour past our delightful conversation I've been awake. Since it's almost 4 am now, I'm going on an hour and a half of wakefulness. What does one do when one can't sleep at 2:30 in the morning? That's simple:
1. Search for a basic partnership agreement online. (The man at my bank has been calling me every other day for probably just over two months politely demanding that I file a partnership agreement with him for our business account. I used to just avoid his calls but our caller id randomly went out about three weeks ago, and since it is against my personal agenda to ever call and have our extremely erratic phone service repaired, I have instead been reduced to answering phone calls from everyone. This might not seem like a major inconvenience, but can you honestly imagine answering every phone call you received, having no idea what to expect? It's terrifying. I think the last time I spoke to him I promised I'd have a partnership agreement to him sometime in the next week, this was at least two weeks ago.)
2. Fill out the basic partnership agreement, making slight adjustments, and completely deleting clauses that I either didn't fully understand, or just seemed, in my estimation, to be superfluous.
3. Check my email.
4. Fill out an online survey for $1, but then find that I don't meet the demographic and don't get my dollar.
5. Check the status of some packages I should be receiving today. (It turns out they left Commerce City at 1:37 a.m.)
6. Randomly browse Craig's List. http://www.craigslist.org for baby items and free stuff.
7. Decide to republish one of my own items, but this time with a photo.
8. Recheck status of packages. (Surprisingly there was absolutely no change in the status of the packages.)
9. Play four or five hands of solitaire.
10. Register for a free online hold 'em tournament scheduled to start half an hour later.
11. Post a blog message to kill time until the start of the tournament.
12. Realize I have nothing more to say, but still have 14 minutes until the tournament starts. Seriously debate whether to play about ten more hands of solitaire, re-check the status of my packages so I can determine the instant they are checked into my local ups docking station, continue to ramble mindlessly on my blog, or take a shower and get a "head start on the day."
So, if any of you have anything you need done, for example: tax preparation work, internet research, resume writing, trip planning, you should let me know, because next time I'm randomly awake super early in the morning, I will no longer have a partnership agreement to create, so I'm soliciting busy work in advance.
