Tuesday, January 27, 2004
So, I've come to the conclusion that certain businesses thrive by creating irrational fear in the general public. Now, I know you're thinking of the obvious industries here, like Insurance and Security Systems. While I agree that those industries are definitely fear based, I don't really have a problem with them. At least they're up front about it. Everyone knows that they're selling peace of mind, and in order to do that they have to scare you a little.
The industries I'm concerned with are the ones that border on the fraudulent. For instance, tax preparers. It is every tax preparers goal to convince you that if you even come with 20 feet of a "schedule a" form to itemize your deductions yourself, you will spend no less that 30 years in a federal prison. I've met way too many people who have never even tried to file their taxes themselves and seem genuinely horrified that I would even consider filling out my own paperwork. Honestly, if you've ever seen a tax booklet the instructions are so straight-forward. There is no way to mess it up.
In my mind the only reason to go to a tax preparer is if you have some illegal monetary dealings that you're trying to keep from the government. Then by all means, go to a tax preparer and let them put their neck on the line for you with all their crazy "loop-holes." Otherwise, provided you have a high school diploma quit cowering behind h&r block and fill out your own taxes. Just try it once, I bet nothing bad will happen to you! And if it does, then I guess you'll feel truly justified in having spent so much money over the years having other people fill in the blanks for you. Plus, if "Arrested Development" is any indicator, federal prison isn't really all that bad, you'll be thanking me later.
So today, as I sat waiting for my sister-in-law to finish getting her hair cut, I decided that hair styling is another industry that only exists because they've instilled fear into the hearts of the American public. The only reason you're willing to pay upwards of twenty dollars for what is typically a fifteen minute procedure is because you are thoroughly convinced that if you cut your hair yourself you will regret it for the rest of your life. Now let's think about this... let's say a hair stylist gets through three simple haircuts in an hour....that means they're making $60 an hour! Dear goodness, then you tip them on top of that, and they don't even have a college education! Yep, I decided this was simply wrong. Now, I know that hairstylists who view this site are going to become irate and tell me about how they have to rent their space and provide their own styling tools and products, but seriously, they're getting one sweet deal all because you're terrified.
To prove my new found release from the fear-based economies, I cut my own hair today. I cut it with some craft scissors I found in my kitchen. I didn't even wet my hair down first because I think that's all just part of the fear-building tactics...they make it seem like a way more intricate process than it is, just so you'll think they deserve more money. I didn't even pick up the hair clippings that are still sitting in my sink, that wasn't part of my rebellious experiment, that was just because I was too lazy. My husband will clean it all up for me later with a disgusted look in his eyes, and a heavy sigh. Sure he'll be angry for a few hours, but deep down he knows it's endearing that I make him pick up after me!
My hair cut took about five minutes, cost me nothing, and looks damn good. Think about it people.
